


Only a Slice of Cheesecake Left

by SpiffyWordPlay



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock - Fandom, Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: A bit of mystrade, Cake, Crack, Humor, M/M, Other, Umbrella, some silly stupid thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-31
Updated: 2014-02-16
Packaged: 2017-12-21 23:17:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/906113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpiffyWordPlay/pseuds/SpiffyWordPlay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mycroft Holmes' is rather fond of his umbrellas. This is the story of a certain umbrella, Charles, and his death that deeply upset the plump government man.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Once upon a time, there lived a fat government man who lived in a big shiny flat. His head also shone, because he was beginning to bald, and therefore he was naturally super jealous of his little brother's curly dark fluff. We won't talk anymore about the little brother(because he's a brat, and not even half as important as the government official was). 

This man, the wearer of three piece suits, abandoner of diets, the Ice Man, was known as Mycroft Holmes... And don't ask me what kind of name that is because I don't know. Okay, thanks.  
Though Mycroft was super busy with his official paperwork and CCTV stalking, he did have quite the hobby. Umbrella collecting. The strange not-so-little man wouldn't go anywhere without one of his umbrellas. They were basically attached to his pudgy, sticky -from sweets- fingers. 

While walking to this cute little sweater shop (he didn't actually wear the sweaters; he'd just go in to sniff them because they reminded him of mummy and her cookies), he sported his current umbrella, of which the name was Charles. 

"Charles," Mycroft quietly whispered while walking into the store, hearing a welcoming chime from the door bell. "Charles, stay close. No one else can have you. You're mine, baby, mmm."   
Charles would have shivered in delight from the man's charming words, but decided against it. People were staring, and umbrellas can't shiver anyway.  
Mycroft smiled pleasantly, walking over to the oatmeal colored jumpers. Oatmeal was another kind of food Mycroft liked, as long as there were chocolate chips, and about a cup of sugar, in the bowl along with the oats.

There were a small amount of people loafing (that's a good word, it makes Mycroft think of bread) around the store. A young girl was hugging tightly to her mum's leg, staring at Mycroft with big green eyes.   
Mycroft smiled slightly, causing dimples in his plump face. They were cute dimples though, and they resembled little bowls of strawberry ice cream. Or something like that, whatever. 

The little girl smiled in return and let go of her mother's hand to approach the nicely dressed stranger. Since little kids are random and make absolutely no sense at all, the girl ripped Charles from Mycroft's manicured fingers and snapped him right in half. Well, it wasn't exactly right in half, the left side had a bit more umbrella than the other- but that's irrelevant.   
Needless to say, Mycroft's reaction was not pleasant in the least bit. In fact, the mother ended up dragging her red faced, bawling, whipped cream covered, little child away. 

After the incident, Mycroft (broken hearted), and Charles (broken) sadly sauntered back home. Charles had cost him so much- he was an eight-hundred pound custom made umbrella- and Mycroft was not pleased to have it broken. Also, Charles was his favorite umbrella, and was actually named after the chef who used to present his meals at mummy's fancy dinner parties. Charles made a mean soufflé- the man, not the umbrella. Umbrellas can not cook, and especially not when they're broken.

Entering his big shiny flat, Mycroft stormed into his bedroom, completely ignoring the half-naked Detective Inspector posing seductively on his couch. He carefully wrapped up Charles the umbrella in a duvet, and pulled his second favorite umbrella- Betty Crocker- out of his closet. He looked at her closely- intimately- and she didn't look back (She didn't have eyes). 

The chubby ginger man leaned over his bed, giving Charles a quick kiss on the handle. In the background, a certain Detective Inspector groaned about how he wished his handle would be kissed- though, Mycroft didn't hear it over the sound of himself sobbing over his umbrella. He gripped Betty Crocker tight to his warm, soft chest, and stared down at his broken Charles. His heart was broken in just the same way, with a little more heart on the left. 

He decided he needed comfort. And the perfect opportunity for comfort was already in his house, waiting for him. Something that would give him most pleasure, and was delighted to give it to him. With Betty Crocker- who he cannot remember who he named after to save his life- under his arm, he sauntered into the kitchen. There was a cheesecake in the fridge. He cut a slice from it and set it aside, taking the rest to the table with a fork. 

The lovely balding man ate the cheesecake ferociously, getting creme smeared all over his three chins, and three piece suit. But it didn't matter. Once he finished his dessert he felt quite satisfied. It was then that he noticed a little note on the table. It read:

"Mycroft, you obscenely large idiot. You and your bloody umbrellas! I can't put up with it!  
Signed, your ex-lover, Greg."

Mycroft wiped his mouth with it, wondering if the sweater shoppe would still be open.


	2. the man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it keeps happening

Once there was a man by the government , and the fat that you live in a large apartment in the morning . It seems too early for it began , Bald , and then , jealous of black curls down his brother . We 'll talk more about his brother ( because he had not as important as half of the government ) .

The man , who sent three pieces , abandoner food , Iceman , also known as Mycroft Holmes ... And you do not have to type the name I do not know . OK , thank you .  
Although very busy Mycroft and watch on their legal terrorism , it 's just a hobby . Car Collection . It is a very strange little man will not go anywhere without their box . Fingers liquid - They are mainly related to the fullness , its sweet .

When I go to the store this little cute sweater ( actually just wearing a sweater that comes to the scent because it reminds her mother and biscuits ) , unless your roof is Charles .

" Charles , " Mycroft said that when he entered the shop , he heard a call from a cozy hood . " Charles , we walked around . No. you can not . " King me , baby , Zulu . "  
Charles will be a nice man 's joy and consternation , but decided not to . Those who see , and can not begin umbrellas or so .  
Mycroft smiled kindly , close to the color of oatmeal Jump . Oatmeal is a favorite food Mycroft , just as they are. No chips chocolate cup sugar in a bowl of oats

There was a small group of people who walk (a good word makes Mycroft think bread ) see places . Young girl hugging the leg of his mother , watching Mycroft big green eyes .  
Mycroft smiled , Slap chubby . Profit is sweet , though , and it looks like a small bowl of strawberry ice cream . Or the like , or what .

He smiled and gave him the hand of his mother , to a well -dressed stranger . For the random and insignificant , Charles broke manicured fingers Mycroft and broken in half . Well , not exactly , the left side is a small kryshadrugoy - but no matter .  
Clearly , what did Mycroft . In fact , the mother will eventually replace the red face , screaming , covered in ice cream , the children go .

After the incident , Mycroft ( broken heart ) and Charles ( inactive ) , unfortunately , they returned home . Charles has cost a lot of money - an eight - kilogram box and customized Mycroft had to break up with him . Even Charles is my favorite color , and it was actually named after the chef who used to represent the mother fancy lunch . Charles Souffle average man or an umbrella . Cars can not cook , and especially if something is wrong .

Enter , lighted a great place for him , Mycroft and fractured his room , completely ignoring inspection topless seductive pose on the couch . Roof Carlos carefully wrapped his second favorite to take home - Betty Crocker - from your wardrobe . He looked - up close - and I do not want to go back ( no eyes ) .

Chubby ginger man bent over the bed , a quick kiss the hand of Charles . After , the inspectors complained , as he wanted to kiss her understanding , however , Mycroft had not heard her crying on his roof . Betty Crocker embrace strong , warm and soft breasts and Charles broke his . His heart was broken in the same way , with a little left side .

He decided that he needed comfort . It's a great opportunity to the comfort of his home waiting for him . This will give more fun , and are happy to provide . Betty Crocker - can not remember what she called after saving their lives under his arm , and went into the kitchen . The cake in the refrigerator . Cut a piece of it and put it aside , the rest of the table with a fork .

Handsome man Bald vicious eating the cake , so to use it on the chin three three - piece suit . But no matter . As soon as I heard that the desserts in its very satisfied . That's when I saw the paper on the table . He says :

" Mycroft shameful that a greater fool . You have blood on your screen , I can not deal with it !  
Signed , your ex - lover , Greg . "

Mycroft of mouth , Clear thinking that the store should open his jersey .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, Abby. Thanks for bringing me a goat to sacrifice.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this nonsensical piece of writing. It's my first story posted on AO3, and I'd rather appreciate constructive criticism and Kudos. Mm. Yes, Kudos Indeed.  
> Thank you to my lovely friends who edited this odd little thing.


End file.
